From the desk of Criss Angel:
I warned Holden, if he ever ventured into my territory, Las Vegas, I would immediately include him in a masterful illusion.
I would place an improvised explosive device; an IED, under one of three plastic cups, I would then rotate the cups, face down, in random fashion and ask Holden to tell me which cup conceals the IED or confess to making homo gay music which poisons the minds of the young.
I can assure you that Holden would choose to pick out the plastic cup instead of correcting his evil path, thus setting off a chain of events which I’ve entailed in this missive and revealing here for the first time.
As Holden chooses the plastic cup, incorrectly, I then turn over the remaining cups which all hold nothing. I then inform Holden that through the power of held by yours truly, Criss Angel, the IED has relocated somewhere quite unexpected; Holden’s anal cavity.
As Holden begins to scratch furiously at his backside, I turn to a gathering audience and ask “is that fair?”, “does that seem fair to you?”, and then instruct Holden that digging only makes it worse.
I then pull out an IPOD and place the headphones over Holden’s ears, and give him these instructions: “It’s your choice! If you choose the music of straight, normal people then the only discomfort you will feel is unease when sitting down. But choose the music of the homo gay and you will forge the path I’ve outlined here (pulling a sheet of paper from my jacket pocket).
(reading aloud) As I stand here in front of the Luxor, in front of this audience, I declare that Holden will indeed make the wrong choice, choose the homo gay music, thus setting off BPM triggered IED now rectally encased within Holden and furthermore, Holden will be transposed in the following manner:
01. pancreas: parking lot of Mandalay Bay
02. spleen: red turret of the Excalibur Hotel
03. half of left foot: Harrah’s
And the IPOD would be found, sans headphones, rolling down the east side of the Luxor’s pyramid roof, still functioning, and lodged inside the vacant skull of the once creative but unfortunately doomed homo gay; Holden.
LEVEL OF DIFFICULTY: SUPERINHUMANE

“Anal Cavity” is a great name for a band. I somehow see
carolinalovin44 as the ugly, not particularly skilled, acne-marked bass player in that band.

never mind the bollocks……….awesome music from Holden, the illuminations album was a highlight of the year, gotta be top ten for 2013

fuk u carolina!

(awesome music)
.

he’s getting better at drawing circles

What the fuck type of daft comment is that . You’ll never get inside Holdens ass !!!!!